First and foremost, I was single, meaning not in a committed relationship, for years. Being single was my specialty. For a while it’s fun, you don’t have to answer to anyone, dating whomever you want whenever. Making social media posts about how you’re so happy that you don’t have to put up with someone else. Sure, you’re happy that you’re sleeping alone. Of course, you like going to family events and parties by your lonesome. You’re the best dancer there anyway, why not dance by yourself. There is a very small percentage of people that are actually happy this way. You can profess to your friends and family that you love this uncommitted life, but you don’t fool me. Trust me, that stage should only last so long.
At one point you have to realize that a relationship is more than two people going through bullshit to stay together. That doesn’t have to be your situation. Not everyone has to go through a bunch of drama to know they belong together. If you’re with someone who genuinely loves you and wants to make you happy there are ways to minimize the drama. The number route is maintaining open communication. There should be a two way dialogue about everything when you’re in a relationship, you should be trying to move it to the next big stage. Certain conversations should be left at a certain age. If you’re over 25 you should not still be making the same relationship mistakes. At this point you know better, so do better so that you can get better and give better. There’s a formula to a healthy relationship and if you feel that there is too much pain and not enough love. You have the option to move on because you’re not getting what you deserve, which is to find happiness to add to your happiness. Enough with the preaching, trust that I’m speaking from, I won’t say bad, but “learned” behaviors. I have a PH.D in situationships from Asshole University but I stopped teaching there because they weren’t paying enough and the benefits were horrible. The following are the 5 reasons why you’re single:
1. Lack of self-love. You don’t love you enough. Yeah, it’s true. You’re meeting all the wrong people and continuing to stay with them because you don’t know your worth. Settling for what they give you and not what you deserve. Wondering why you have your shit together but keep getting in situations with those that don’t. Reach for the stars and not the clouds. Write the list of what you want and not what you don’t and stick to it. It sounds picky but these are your requirements. Just make sure that you’re ready to handle what’s on that list.
2. You miss your ex. They were so fine, your people loved them and all those gifts were wonderful. But they cheated, constantly lied and didn’t live up to your standards. An ex is an ex for a reason, don’t be a retrosexual (a person that constantly dates those from their past). The test is when you date them again and everything is good in the beginning then falls back to old habits. Ask yourself, “This was why we broke up in the first place”. Yep, so move on. Be with someone who’s willing to do for you just as you would for them.
3. You’re a THOT. And U.O.E.N.O, it’s hard to know when that’s all you hang with and you were raised that way. The reason why it’s hard for you to keep a man/woman is because you can’t keep yourself. You are what you attract, so be yourself. Everyone should be trying to become a better person everyday. The more you find out about yourself, the more you have to offer to your future. It’s true some h*es become housewives but do you really want to take that chance. Ehhh.
4. You’re a lame. It’s true, you go home and straight to work, you have no interest or fun things going on in your life. Haven’t you always wanted to travel here, learn a new language or start exercising. Get your ass up and make some friends. Hear me out, if you’re single make sure, that your time is being accounted for. Go out and have a life, you can’t keep sitting around waiting for somebody to see how wonderful you are. When you are awesome, people can tell by the glow of your skin, smile on your face and pep in your step. You have to love being with you first.
5. Too much drama. Negativity attracts negativity. Everybody is going through something. I once met a guy who told me in his first conversation that “Bo Bo, down the street got shot and they looking for his brother now”. Yeah, you sound like someone I want to visit NOT. Keep your business to yourself. Don’t let your situations and environment take over. It’s okay to discuss your past but don’t overwhelm people with all of your shortcomings. It’s not just physical health to worry about but also your mental health. Make sure you are exercising both.
I’m not knocking being single at all but sharing your life with someone that wants the same things that you’re reaching for is a blessing. And you won’t know until you try. I just want to make sure that you’re dating with a purpose.